If it shifts into unhealthy territory where the other person is trying to change your mind or make you feel bad, for example blaming or guilting you for your decision, end the conversation. However, talking through your perspective is only helpful to a point-as long as you’re comfortable and the conversation is healthy. It can also communicate a degree of respect and care for their feelings. In some cases, taking time to explain how you feel can help them better accept your decision and move on. You could leave it at that or you could go into more detail, helping the other person understand your perspective. RELATED: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Date a Friend’s Ex Explain Your Perspective-To A PointĬhoosing not to be in a relationship is a personal choice-a freedom that you shouldn’t have to defend or over-explain. As long as they’re stating these in a non-accusatory way that doesn’t minimize your needs, hear them out while staying true to what’s right for you. It may be that this other person’s feelings and needs are in direct opposition to yours, and that’s perfectly okay. Whatever the situation, focusing on feelings and needs will help prevent it from escalating into an argument. For instance, maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed with classes and you need to focus on your schoolwork or maybe you’re feeling excited and curious about being newly single and you need some time to explore and figure out what you really want without making any commitments. RELATED: How To Bounce Back From A Breakup Express The Situation In Terms Of Your Feelings And Needsįorget personal insults, apologies, or blame instead be honest and direct with how you feel, what you need, and how that isn’t aligned with being in a relationship. Sure, over time your feelings may change-and so might this other person’s-but starting out the discussion from an honest place grounded by how you feel in the present is a must. Whether you’re looking for something casual and want to keep it that way, or whether you’re not interested in anything at all, clarifying this from the beginning helps avoid confusion and awkward conversations later on. The best way to approach this topic is early on. When you really care about someone, it’s also equally hard to be on the receiving end of “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” Keeping the following tips in mind will help you deliver the news in a way that’s as healthy and painless as possible, for everyone involved. Most of us will do somersaults to avoid the uncomfortable interaction of telling someone the opposite of what they want to hear, particularly when it involves romantic feelings. Written by Writer’s Corps member Emily Desanctisĭisappointing someone is tough.
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